Category Articles
It might take a little coffee or probably a few rounds of beer or any other booze you could get your hands on when it comes to relaxing after a hard day's work. Well, yeah I'm guilty about that one as well, unless I'm caught dead...
10 THINGS NOT TO DO IN FEBRUARY
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2006. 10 THINGS NOT TO DO IN FEBRUARY Or, pray tell, why not? Sherlock Tidpit is a remarkable rumpus-room monitor, and even more impressive, he is a rule-of-thumb rapscallion with a very skewed...
10 THINGS NOT TO DO IN JANUARY
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2006. 10 THINGS NOT TO DO DURING THE MONTH OF JANUARY Or, pray tell, why not? Sherlock Tidpit, (a remarkable rumpus-room monitor and a rule-of-thumb rapscallion with a skewed view of reality),is a ...
10 THINGS NOT TO LEAVE IN POCKETS
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. 10 THINGS NOT TO LEAVE IN POCKETS Or why these facts are important to good mental & physical health Ovid Publius Hadweenzic, Ph.D., Professor of Pith n' Vinegar, (and an avid reader of paltry poetry by a...
10 THINGS YOU NEVER SEEM TO FIND
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. 10 THINGS YOU NEVER SEEM TO FIND Or, wherefore art thou? By: Theolonius McTavish, a permanently "lost" soul who hangs out at the "lost-and-found" for companionship, (especially when he can't remember what...
10+ Tips to Help You Save on Car Insurance
Most people complain about the cost of their auto insurance--hardly surprising, given that a typical policy costs at least several hundred dollars a year. Depending on your age, driving record, and other factors, your annual premium can be...
10 Ways To Save On Homeonwers Insurance
1. Raise Your Deductible - Save Up To 25% Deductibles are the amount of money you have to pay toward a loss before your insurance company starts to pay a claim, according to the terms of your policy. The higher your deductible, the more money you...
100% office safe amusing animated backgrounds
Desktop backgrounds and wallpapers are one of the easiest customisable options for any computer user, however inept. Most people choose a picture of their favorite celebrity, car or escapist destination. Others choose animated wallpapers, often...
12 Goofy Ways to Stay Safe and Healthy in Today's Hazardous World
- Stop breathing ozone immediately. You know you can if you try. - Do not strike matches near an open nuclear power plant. - Do not rub either your scalp or your bosom with the latest scientific breakthrough. - Never sit next to strangers in...
12 Steps to Recover St Patrick's Day
1. Admit that Advertising Agencies are powerless in showing images of Irish people celebrate St Patrick's Day without a drink in their hand. 2. Believe that we need a power greater than the Global Drinks Industry to overcome the stereotypes...
20 Year Term Life Insurance
One of the most popular life insurance policies is the 20 year term life insurance policy. The purchaser of the policy usually pays a level premium for the first 10 years. In some cases the premiums remain level, and at the same rate, for the entire...
3 Surefire Ways to Combat Rising Gas Prices
3 Surefire Ways to Combat Rising Gas Prices by Tim Ward I have heard the rumblings of many of you in Readerland about the recent spike in gasoline prices. In fact it's all I seem to hear about lately. But at least it keeps you from rumbling about...
5 Reasons Why You Should Quit Your Day Job
Most of us would stop working if we could. We constantly dream about it, but that's about as far as we get-dreaming. Working a 9-5 just seems inevitable. I, Timothy Ward, however am a master at defying the inevitable. I stare 'The Inevitable' in the...
5 Tips for Cheaper Home Insurance
Home insurance is a basic term for two different insurance products. Buildings insurance to protect your property's structure and home contents insurance to cover your moveable household objects and valuables. Unfortunately not all home insurance...
50 Ways to Say No To Sex and 50 Ways to Get Around Them
There's a lot of stupid assed speakers and such in my school that come and talk to us about sex and saying no.Bullshit I say,they hand out papers with 50 ways to say no to sex.Being the nice guy I am I came up with 1 way to get around each of those...
6 Dating Tips from Ughh the Caveman
While recently browsing through the Akashic Records of the Universe, I discovered that the greatest relationship advice counselor to have ever incarnated on Earth was Ughh, a caveman born in 123,566 B.C. My local Rent-A-Psychic outlet provided a...
8 Reasons Why You Should Email Me One Dollar
Paypal has made it possible to quickly and easily send money over the Internet. This allows us to pay for all kinds of purchases with a lot less hassle. It also will allow you, everyone who reads this article, to send me, Timothy Ward, $1.00. ...
A Condom By Any Other Name
Condoms, jimmies, rubbers…you might think you’ve heard them all. Condoms are one of the world’s most common prophylactics. Here are 5 things that you might not otherwise know about condoms and their names. 1. English Nicknames One of the most...
A Curious Contraception
It was only the other day that I learnt that the first recorded use of contraception was in 2000BC by the Egyptians. I can't say why I learned the fact, just as I can't fathom out why I still know the words to "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" twenty years...
A Deep Look At Soap Operas
You have got to love soap operas. From the intricate plots and finely woven webs of deceit, to the depths of schemes, they were, are and always will be classics. They are timeless. I wrote this article as my take on them back in 1970 when filling...
A dog's guide to... Getting Your Dog to Stop Barking
I like to bark. I mean, I like to bark A LOT. So, whattya gonna do about it? Well, if you’re Amber and Terry, you’re going to do NOTHING about it. Ain’t nobody going to silence the Rubinman, you know what I’m sayin’? If you’re NOT Amber and Terry,...
A Faux Pas Is A Mistake In A Tuxedo
Everyone who is anybody has a hobby or at least entertains the idea. Hobbies range from sports to crafts to reading and even traveling. Some hobbies don't make sense to me like collecting dead insects. My long established hobby has earned me a...
A Few Tips On Comic Book Bags
Comic Book Backing Boards come in different thicknesses and acid-free properties. The basic purpose for using a backing board is to give the comic some stiffness, which helps keep the comic pages from bending, creasing or wrinkling. When a backing...
A French Teacher's Memories: First Day At School
Anyone know how it is to go to school for the first time. Teachers live through this experience twice; and the second time is not the less impressive. Despite my diplomas that allowed me to teach in state secondary schools and my requests, I had...
A Georgia Superhero!
One thing I’ve loved since I was a little boy were superheroes. Believe me, I read so many Superman and Batman comic books when I was a kid that it’s not even funny. I loved their varied super powers, and how they constantly got out of scrapes that...
A Guide to Finding the Right Health Insurance Company
There are many people in America today that are in dire need of health insurance for either themselves or for their entire families. This can be for many reasons. Sometimes their employers do not provide health insurance. Other times, the people...
A Key In Hand Is Worth A Thousand On My Desk
A key fault I have, and I can only talk about one fault at a time, is the tendency to get busy. I often find myself chasing my own tail. What I will do with it when I catch it is beyond my understanding. However, this notwithstanding, I fall into...
A Lawyers Favorite Lawyer Jokes
Lawyer Jokes Q: How does a pregnant woman know she is carrying a future lawyer? A: She has an extreme craving for baloney. Q: What is the legal definition of “Appeal”? A: Something a person slips on in a grocery store. Q: Why did God make...
A Little Guy On Wheels
Mamma was a strong believer in heredity, and she believed our family’s German heritage predisposed us to two things: hard work and stubbornness. The gene for hard work lay pretty low in us kids while we were growing up, but stubbornness kicked in...
A little history on the Comic Strip.
A little history on the Comic Strip. Elements of the comic strip form can be found in antiquity, where Vergil in the Aeneid describes a tapestry that retraces the events of the Trojan War. The Bayeux tapestry, from the Middle Ages, retraces the...
A Meowing of Cats
Here's a tip for next Christmas, if you have a cat: Hang the bottom branches of your tree with cat toys. That way your feline will be delighted and you won't be irritated by it constantly knocking down and destroying your prized Christmas...
A Moment of Magic!
Laughter may or may not be a shock, relieved, but its’ therapeutic effects are recognised in most cultures. It allows a positive distractive moment or moments. When things are tough, rough, overbearing or endless, a quick laugh can help to...
A moron's account of 4th grade.
Ah looking back on 4rth grade, it was not my favorite grade, 3erd grade was my favorite grad butt when I think about all the grades I had in school 4rth grade was not a bad grade. My teacher for 4rth grade was Mister Tony, he was a very smart and...
A PINT OF YOUR BEST "BUGBEAR" PLEASE
Copyright Victoria Elizabeth 2004. All rights reserved. A PINT OF YOUR BEST "BUGBEAR" PLEASE -- Toorah For Those Tittilating Tag-Names that Come With Your Favorite Grog!-- Fascinated as I am with names, I happened upon an article in our...
A POSTCARD FROM PARADISE LOST
(c) Theolonius McTavish 2004. All rights reserved. Seeking a spot of serenity somewhere in the universe, I recently booked a deep-discount dodgy berth on the ‘White Elephant Express Space Shuttle’, to a little known place in a galaxy far, far away....
A Real Hajj Pajj
It is incumbent upon every Muslim man and woman to once in their life make Hajj, pilgrimage to Islam’s holiest site, the Kaaba, a granite cubed building inside of the enormous Masjid al Haram outdoor Mosque in Mecca, Saudi Arabia. Allah commanded...
A roommate story too strange to make up
So it's my fifth (and final) year of undrgrad and I am planning on getting my own place; but right before that happens I get an opportunity to rent a house for a total of $750 month, and this includes utilities. Well, no shit, I'm going to go for...
A SHORTAGE OF PUCKS N' PRANKS...
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. A SHORTAGE OF PUCKS N' PRANKS... Or, where have all the April Fools’ Day greeting cards gone? It’s always been a mystery to me why I can never find April Fools’ Day cards in stores. There's a paucity of Pucks...
A Solution Polynesian, European and Seasonal
My petite, hyperactive daughter is what I call our Christmas present from God. That's because my husband was raised Jewish, but is Polynesian, which means he was supposed to be Catholic, but never made it into the church due to some vaguely...
A Strange Occurrence at the Passing Sun
Rounding the corner, I tripped on my shoe lace. As I bent down on one knee I looked straight out as my hands grabbed my laces and began their dance. A blinding flash, as the sun made a quick turn off a marble surface in the distance. Which...
A Sunday jog in the parklands
A Sunday jog in the parklands After a week of stress and an equally stressful weekend, there's nothing I like better than a nice quiet jog in the woods to get back to nature and burn off a box of Cheeze-Its. The family had headed off to morning...
A "Taker" Searches for happiness
"There are two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. Takers might eat well, but givers sleep better at night." Aha! Your humble scribe has had a tough time sleeping lately. I thought it might have something to do with the happiness of...
A tale of the hunt
My good friend Brian and I love hunting. We’ve been chasing the elusive Whitetail deer all across the fields and woodlands of our home state of Massachusetts. Now, Massachusetts isn’t regarded as a great hunting state, but there are deer here, you...
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (NY)
BROOKLYN, NY - It was discovered, last Monday, that a tree has grown in Brooklyn, NY. Amazed residents stared dumbfounded at the three-year-old sapling. Two girls discovered the North American Honey Birch (Honeyus Bircheus) on the way to school. ...
A true roommate story-psyco surfer
My worst roommate (and I've had some bad ones) was on my semester at Tel-Aviv University. It started on the group flight there, with this obnoxious surfer looking guy who was seated next to me (I was on an aisle, he was in the middle). On the ten...
A Visit from St. Customer... A Landscaper's Tale
A Visit from St. Customer... A Landscaper's Tale Article by Jack Stone Copyright © 2003 by ProGardenBiz ProGardenBiz, an online magazine http://www.progardenbiz.com 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the supply house, Not a creature...
A WORD ABOUT "INTELLIGENT" SHOES & DUMB SOULS
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. A WORD ABOUT "INTELLIGENT" SHOES & DUMB SOULS -- Or, Boosting Your Boots' IQ ...But Still Running Around in Circles? -- By Professor Ovid Publius Hadweenzic, a latitudinarian linguist from the University of...
A WORD OR TWO ABOUT MUGWUMPS
Copyright Victoria Elizabeth 2004. A WORD OR TWO ABOUT MUGWUMPS -- Where oh where have the mugwumps gone? -- If you think we're living in some "tough tiddy times", you could be right. After all, when the makers of "Wonderbread" and "Twinkies"...
Abe Lincoln, Bob Dylan and John Bolton
Connecting Abe Lincoln and John Bolton Thru Bob Dylan He gives power to the faint and strengthens the powerless. Isaiah 40:29 Abraham Lincoln had a sinus headache. September in Washington DC. The day brought news of the battle at Manassas and it...
About Individual Health Insurance
About Individual Health Insurance Individual health care insurance provides coverage for only one individual, or family. In general, individual plans are more expensive than group insurance. You can obtain individual plans directly from a...
About The National Association for the Self-Employed (NASE)
About The National Association for the Self-Employed (NASE) At-A-Glance: The Nation's Leading Resource for Micro-Businesses The National Association for the Self-Employed (NASE) is the nation's leading resource for the self-employed and...
About Time: Somali Woman Flogs Islamic Leader
An Islamic woman in Mogadishu finally did it: she inflicted eleven lashes on an Islamic leader for threatening to flog her for selling cannabis. To justify the intended flogging of the woman before she turned on the male...
Affordable Health Insurance - a view
Affordable Health Insurance, an overview Affordable Health Insurance offers you a wide variety of medical insurance policies to protect you and your family against the high costs of health care. Affordable individual health insurance is likely...
Al-Qaeda In Hell, Or Allah’s Surprising Ingratitude
Mohammed One raised his hands toward where he thought heaven might be, and wailed, “I can’t stand it anymore! Allah, have mercy!” But the sky, flame-streaked and smoky, remained unresponsive. So he sank to his knees and began...
Al-Qaeda In Iraq Announces New Leader. Or Do They?
In the wake of the sudden death of its now fragmented leader, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, Al-Qaeda in Iraq polled its somewhat shaken members about who would like to take over Mr. Zarqawi’s job. After a determined effort, the group was able to find a...
ALL ABOUT CHORTLES
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. ALL ABOUT CHORTLES Or, everything you wanted to know about this 8-letter word! By Ovid Publius Hadweenzic, a professor of paltry pedantry with a passionate interest in high-energy brain candy, ...
ALL I WANT FROM SANTY IS MY SANITY
ALL I WANT FROM ‘SANTY' IS MY SANITY Rev. James L. Snyder Christmas is the one time of the year when it is okay to be traditional. That may be the reason why so many people look forward to the Christmas holidays. The rest of the year most people...
All That Flapping About Has To Stop
What a pleasant man that Rick Stein is. Only the other night, as I tucked into Mrs Holmes’ latest offering and flicked through the channels before settling down with his show (yes, another TV dinner) was I really made aware of this. Pleasant-ish...
ALL THINGS TICKETY-BOO
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2006. ALL THINGS TICKETY-BOO Or, are you sure everything's A-Okay? By Ovid Publius Hadweenzic, Ph.D., Head, Department of the Highly Suspect & Grossly Exaggerated Facts of Life, (more commonly...
Amazing Trivia Part 1
I admit it .. I LIKE trivia, tho it serves no purpose for me since I can never remember any to bring up in conversation. But still, it is fun, so I've created this list of amazing trivia that I found to be absolutely riveting. 1. Snails can...
‘And How Do We Feel This Morning?'
Without question, going to the hospital is teamwork from the time you arrive until you are wheeled out the front door. Everyone is working together for the common good of the patient, or at least a crack at his bank account. That is as it should be...
Anecdotes and the Sharp Wit of a Teacher Poet Thinker
Anecdotes and Wisdom, Wit, Humor, Satire, Quotes, Jokes of the late witty Orhan Seyfi Ari Fedai, Halkin Sesi -27 Dec. 92 “… He always wore a smile...” In his articles little stories, jokes, humor, satire, made witty teacher thinker poet Orhan...
"Angry Chicken" Disease Peril to Chicken Soup Industry
NEW YORK, NY - The first suspected case of angry chicken disease in the United States was reported Tuesday and threatens to devastate the country's $98 billion chicken soup industry. A Holstein chicken from a farm in Manhattan was found to...
Applause for the Jerk Drain!
The Hidden Benefit of Canada's continuing brain drain These days, Canadians often lament the brain drain. There is a silver lining however. What about the jerk drain? With every Air Canada plane load of brains departing Canadian shores, there...
April Fool's Day
April Fool’s Day originates from Germany. It is believed to be the brain child of Gabriel Hoffman who lived in Damstadt during the 1860’s. The day is celebrated in many countries with the execution of elaborate practical jokes on unsuspecting...
Are We Too Competitive?
Are we too competitive? Are you a little competitive? Would you consider yourself a RAGING MANIAC when it comes to a good competition? Welcome to Competitors Anonymous. You are competitive if you compete as you drive on the freeway--you know, you...
AS THE OLD YEAR FADES, SO DOES MY MEMORY
Memory is a very tricky thing, at least for me it is. Looking back, over a year's span of activity my memory seems to pick and choose what it remembers. It amazes me not so much what a person remembers but what a person forgets. Often some...
Ass Pimples Vs Back Acne
Ass Pimples Vs Back Acne What is Back Acne ? Umm... Acne on your back. There you have it. Well there is a difference compared to face acne . Back acne is one form of body acne and it's a bitch to reach when you need to treat that...
Asylum Seekers: Now With Wings
It seems inconceivable that a bird table could lead to thoughts about asylum seeking, but this seems to be the case. It all started innocently enough, of course. With winter now upon us, I thought it would be a nice idea to buy a bird table, to...
AT A LOSS FOR WORDS?
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2006. AT A LOSS FOR WORDS By The Duchess of Dither, (a.k.a. Dame Do-This-Do-That or DDT for shot), is not your run-of-the-mill doddering, do-nothing, dour dowager but rather a chronologically-gifted social...
Austin Powers 2 Quotes
Scott: If you've got a time machine, why don't you just go back and kill Austin Powers when he's sitting on the crapper or something? Dr. Evil: Well it's true! You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke...
Auto Insurance Glass Coverage, and Other Sleep Aids
So what could possibly be more sleep-inducing than reading (or writing) a 650-word article about auto insurance? After considerable brain-racking, I've come up with one possibility: watching towels dry. However, if you drive a car in the United...
Aye, Capt’n Bush, 'Tis Not Only The Storm But The Navigation
“What a night to be at sea!” shouted brave Captain Bush into the rain-slashed, wind-whipped Middle Easter that had suddenly come upon The Good Ship USA. “Yar, yar, ya got that right, Cap’n,” returned his faithful and once jocund first mate, Rummy,...
Bad Breath Love
Sure...I loved her. She was smart, attractive, polite and a total demon in the sack. Unfortunately, the perfection ended there. So what's the problem, you ask? Simple...she had a garbage mouth. No, I don't mean she cursed like a sailor, I mean...
Bad Breath Terminology
We all know someone who has bad breath. Still, you may not be current on all the slang associated with this unfortunate condition. Not to worry, my friend. I am here to provide you with more than a few descriptive phrases to use when referring to...
Balloon Animals
More then ever before, I have seen the rise in restaurants providing table side entertainment. While you wait to be seated, or for your meal to come, you can be entertained by a skilled magician or a fancy balloon animal. This is wonderful. It...
Bashing the Opposite Sex
Way back in time, when men used to roam the earth with club in hand, women prayed that the man who knocked her out cold was "the one" - the caveman of her dreams. Sadly though, many a headache and broken dream was the only result, as the majority...
Bat Ejection Techniques - Country Survival Course #27
People lie! They lie about the bliss of rural relocation. They lie about the size of fish they catch. They lie about being there for you. But, mostly, they lie about bats! Such a silly thing, yet no one can admit the ugly truth. "Bats only come...
Bathroom Palacial
I had to play a joke on the maid at a hotel where I was staying. You know that little paper wrapper they place over the toilet seat, that thin paper band that is supposed to convince you that the facility is clean. You normally take the paper band...
Be Happy, Join The Wednesday Worry Club
Of all the people who know me, no one would say I am afflicted with worryitis. They may say other things about me, which may or may not be true, but that's another story. If you ask me, and nobody has, worry is just a waste of time that could be...
Be Happy That You're Miserable
According to Woody Allen, the world is divided into the miserable and the truly horrible. The miserable are everyday normal people like you and I, and the truly horrible are the cerebral palsy victims on their twelfth round of chemotherapy ...
Being Sensitive and Kind
I am very caring and sensitive. I think this is in part down to my tough upbringing. I worked on a cabbage farm since I was eight years old. My father was a dour and God fearing Evangalist who married a one armed Yugoslavian peasant from Skopje. She...
Bernie Ebbers and The Temptations
Bernie Ebbers and the Temptations. If you don’t give a heck about the man with the Bible in his hand. . . . --Mack Rice No. Not those temptations. I mean The Temptations. And I am not talking about whoever is touring under the name today. I am...
Best and Cheapest Auto Insurance Rates
Auto insurance rates rise year after year. Your car insurance premium depends on your Car, Age, Driving Record, Credit Rating and Location. The number of cars and drivers also affect the rates. Because multiple factors are used to calculate your...
Beware of Thick Ankled Women!
It’s funny the kinds of things that you remember sometimes. Just a little while ago I began smiling because I was thinking about something my mother told me many years ago. I was a teenager at the time, and I think that I was dating several girls...
Bigamist Begs For Life Imprisonment;seeks Escape From 40 Wives
As you have no doubt read, the country’s leading bigamist – distinguished title, eh? – was arrested in Las Vegas during a routine traffic stop. He had made it to the number one spot on the FBI’s list of top ten hits for marrying underage women to...
Bin Laden Dead Or Alive? Since Nobody's Sure, We Wrote Both Articles.
Bin Laden Dead Osama Bin Laden is dead. We know this for certain, because, after five years of knowing only that he had access to a tape recorder, we were bound to know at least one thing about him that is certain. We’re also as aware as we care...
Bin Laden Reevaluates Business Model
Osama Bin Laden, reportedly hiding in a mud hut in the wilds of the remote tribal region of Pakistan or, due to a lifetime of luxurious pampering and his need for dialysis, holed up in a basement in Karachi or dilating in the splendors of a...
Bin Laden Releases Another Audiotape: Hideout Too Dark For Video
Apparently, unable to contain his enthusiasm for bumming out the relatively nice and unsuspecting folks who make up much of the Western World, the misinformed medievalist has released another drearily threatening audiotape. Since the combined...
Bin Laden’s Garden Of Earthly Frights
What does a resourceful malefactor do when nearly all of the world is searching for him and he has nothing more urgent to do than hide out? Why, what else? He takes up gardening. At least, plants and vegetables can’t reveal his whereabouts. They’re...
Bin Laden Sighted In Karachi; May Turn Self In
Reports of Osama Bin Laden’s whereabouts took a new turn this week when a Pakistani woman reported sighting a tall man in a white robe with matching turban hit his head on a low doorway. The woman's suspicions about the identity of the man were...
Birds Of A Feather
1. Which is not a group term for birds? A. Flock B. Flight C. Volery D. Swarm D. Swarm TBD: Various insects can collectively be called a swarm but not birds! 2. Which of these is a fear of birds? A. Alektorophobia B. Astraphobia C....
Blair Bear - The Ultimate Teddy Bear.
blair bear and his missions. Here we see a Brown Bear. Looks cuddly doesnt he. But that is not always what Luigi needs in his bears, and useless in cold climates. Contrast this with Arctic Bear above, quite a large customer, but not much good in...
Blame it On The Rain: Protect Your Home With Hurricane, Wind and Flood Insurance
Choosing the best insurance policies for your home can cause a lot of confusion. Many homebuyers are not fully educated about the coverage needed to protect a home or real estate investment. Many difficult situations can be caused by natural...
BLISSFUL SHOPPING OR HOW TO SAVE TIME, BUT PROBABLY NOT MONEY
BLISSFUL SHOPPING or HOW TO SAVE TIME, BUT PROBABLY NOT MONEY by Karen A. Lech His name is Claude, my Schwan's man. He visits me every two weeks on Monday. The pale, yellow truck with the Swan painted on the side...
BOAT NAMES GONE BONKERS?
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. BOAT NAMES GONE BONKERS! Or, vessels with odd names. Being an eccentric academic is a bit like being a loopy light-bulb engineer. And if you can't grasp the gist of this flight of fancy, it's likely that...
Bob Cratchit was a lousy Clark
I can never watch any version of a Christmas Carol any more because I keep getting bugged by one nagging question: If that damn Bob Cratchit thinks he has it so bad with Scrooge, why the hell doesn't he get out there and get himself another job? ...
Boogers
The Booger cheer: Pick it! Lick it! Roll it! Flick it! In an effort to explain my fascination with this "boogery subject" I will recount a story to you. There was a little girl who loved to read and she found, in a book of poetry, a ...
Border Wars
I'm contemplating making this the title of my next novel. I often wonder why people decide to own a home. Oh I've heard the arguments pertaining to NOT throwing rent money away and the joys of having an "Investment" and all the other upside ...
Bovine Resort
Meat is murder - I understand that - but what if it weren't murder? Would it be alright to eat it, then? The reason I was thinking of this was that I almost hit a couple of wild turkeys while driving to work today and it occurred to me that if I had...
BRAZEN BACKYARD BLUNDERS
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. BRAZEN BACKYARD BLUNDERS -- Or, how to avoid doing things you shouldn’t being doing in your backyard -- By Aphrodite Beamish, a half-witted, hey-nonny-nonny harridan and makeover maven of bliss-challenged,...
Brighten Your Day and Enlighten Your Life
George Bernard Shaw once said that if you find something funny search it for hidden truth. Here are few pearls of wisdom packaged in humour. Enjoy. 1. You wouldn't worry what people thought about you if you only knew how seldom they did. ...
BRING OUT YOUR INNER ROMEO & JULIET!
Copyright Theolonius McTavish 2005. BRING OUT YOUR INNER ROMEO OR Juliet! -- Or, where to find a romantic rendez-vous to reconnoiter? - By Theolonius McTavish, currently a ribald roving reporter (with an abiding interest in arcane topics like...
BUDDHABOT AT YOUR SERVICE
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. BUDDHABOT AT YOUR SERVICE Or, where oh where have my wisdom teeth gone? By Ovid Publius Hadweenzic, Ph.D., a peripatetic professor of pre-recorded pauses, past-life parables and punctuated premonitions, on...
Building Relationships With Humor
As a leader, when you are building social and business relationships, humor is a wonderful tool. In both situations, people want to associate with leaders who have a positive personality and a sense of humor. When you are skilled at using humor,...
Bumper Stickers Make a Statement
If you've ever found yourself inching up on the car in front of you to read their bumper stickers, you're not alone. Bumper stickers are a means of proclaiming your views on life, politics, sports, your religious affiliation, and virtually any ...
Bush Claims Approval Rating At All Time High; His Wife Told Him
Why is President Bush unconcerned about his approval rating, which has now sunk to 33%? He’s certain it’s at an all-time high. How does he know? He asked his ever-faithful wife. For instance, here is the transcript of a discussion with the...
Bush Meets Maliki. May Trade Jobs.
President Bush made a secret trip to Iraq to meet with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki to assure him that the U. S. will continue to support efforts to stabilize and rebuild Iraq. Mr. Maliki thanked him and assured him that he would do...
Business Interruption Insurance Basics
Three things need to happen in order for a business interruption insurance policy to take effect Expect the best, but prepare for the worst. Simply reading the following list may be enough to make any small business owner cringe. However,...
Buying Car Insurance
Automobile insurance is an increasing expense for almost all Americans. We can't afford to have it, and we certainly can't afford to not have it. When researching car insurance companies and comparing policies, it is a good idea to follow these easy...
BY JOVE IT'S JOLLY JUNE!
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005 CALENDAR OF ODD EVENTS -- Eccentric events and odd occasions to celebrate in June 2005 – If June is “bust’n out all over”, you’re probably a green-thumb type, a frisky cowpoke, or perhaps just a “Hot Foot powder”...
CALLING ALL DORKS & DINGBATS!
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. CALLING ALL DORKS & DINGBATS! Or, where do all those daffy ding-a-lings from Canada call home anyway? By Theolonius McTavish, a wayfaring wanderer in a very strange land full of blessedly big bugs,...
"Calvin, go do something you hate."
"Calvin, go do something you hate. Being miserable builds character." The words of Calvin the comic strip character, from Calvin and Hobbes, in one of the all time funniest examples of the medium, by Bill Watterson. In the strip...
Can You or Can’t You
There are a lot of people out there who for one reason or another really can’t so something. This article is not about you so don’t be offended. This article is about all the other people who for one reason or another say they can’t do something,...
CANOODLING WITH A CANUCK IN A CANOE?
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. CANOODLING WITH A CANUCK IN A CANOE? --Or, Welcome to Climax, Saskatchewan! Canada is a pretty straight-laced, peaceful place, where seldom is heard a discouraging word and the skies are not cloudy all day,...
Carol Burnett Gets Desperate
Actress Carol Burnett is slated to make a guest appearance on NBC's "Desperate Housewives" this coming April. The comedian will be playing the stepmother to character Bree Van De Camp and was thrilled to obtain such an icy role. Best known for...
" Cartoons, Comedians and Congressman"
As a student of the body-politik, I have recently been re-examining the seemingly absurd notion of having comedians and cartoon characters filling in for the roles of our current politicians and statesman. After careful consideration- the notion...
CASHING IN ON CANOODLING!
Copyright Theolonius McTavish 2005 -- CASHING IN ON CANOODLING!-- ...Hmmm…is love really in the air ...or am I just running on fumes from my old jalopy? - By Theolonius McTavish, a patently absurd roving reporter with oodles of time on his hands...
Cashing the Czech
Whether Robert Maxwell committed suicide or was murdered may never be known to the public ... Suffice it to say the disgraced publishing magnate cheated so many people and financial institutions to such an extent that there wouldn't be a paucity...
Catharsis and Roller Coasting
Being born a Floridian doesn't necessarily mean I'm genetically predisposed towards seeking refuge amongst large swarms of humanity wandering aimlessly around, taking touristy pictures while being jerked across the walkway by a 4 year old who's just...
CELEBRATE WORLD TINKLE PANTRY DAY!
WORLD TINKLE PANTRY DAY! -- Or, how to celebrate the wonders of water-closets-- Copyright Theolonius McTavish 2004. All rights reserved. November 19th is a very auspicious occasion. It's none other than "International Tinkle Pantry Day". For...
Cereal Killers Must Be Stopped
The murderous maniacs just keep cropping up across the nation in one supermarket after another. They walk in, go straight to the cereal section and start to shoot at the cereal boxes. And they do it indiscriminately. It doesn’t...
Chastise Your Bread – Kneading Dough is Excellent Stress Therapy
The day wasn’t going well already. You know how it is, you wake up in the morning with that migraine or the pounding headache in the back of your head. The kids are up at the crack of dawn (literally) and they keep coming into the bedroom to “help...
Chavez Bedevils Pres; Rangel To The Rescue
At least, Washington can agree to come together to defend one of its own. The politcos did just that in response to Hugo Chavez calling President Bush “the devil” in a speech at the United Nations. Commendably, Representative Charles Rangel, a New...
Cheap Auto Insurance and Cheap Car Insurance
Cheap auto insurance is available. The only way to find cheap car insurance is to show determination and a willingness to research it. Have you had car insurance in the past but wasn't cheap auto insurance? Were your rates high and a strain on...
Cheap Car Insurance: Factors that Affect Your Car Insurance Rates
When it comes to auto insurance rates, who you are determines what you pay. Automobile insurance premiums are based on a large number of factors, some of which you can control, and some of which, alas, are incontrovertible facts of life....
Cheer-Leadership or "All I need to know about business I learned from Cheerleading"
Thanks to teen movies, many people have this stereotypical idea of cheerleaders as being ditzy and mean. However, there are a great many life-lessons that can be learned during your time on the team that have surprising application in the business...
Chicago Criminalizes Foie Gras
The Chicago City Council has voted to criminalize foie gras. An alderman who is a member of the questionable culinary group maintains that the delicious delicacy represents a case of cruelty to animals, since the geese and...
Chicken Rearing 101: How Not to Raise Chickens
Chick: A hatchling Capon: A castrated male used for meat. (How much could that yield?) Pullet: A female chicken under one year old. Hen: A female chicken over one year of age Rooster: A male chicken over one year of age. ...
Chinese Horoscope
I am not the author of this is but it is cool and WERID! Chinese Horoscope, THIS IS TOO FUN...... AMAZINGLY ACCURATE Whatever you do, don't cheat! CHINESE HOROSCOPE : THE YEAR OF THE IRON DRAGON, WISHING YOU PROSPERITY AND GOOD FORTUNE IN...
Chinese Leader Visits U. S. Shops For Sneakers
Hu Jintao, the leader of China, began his four-day trip to the United States by doing something that made him feel right at home. Landing in Seattle, he was driven immediately to a Footlocker, where he purchased a pair of Nike sneakers. He proudly...
Chocolate and Laughs - The Sure-Fire Remedy for Anything Life Throws at You
Chocolate is Worth Crowing and Laughing About Chocolate kindles passion and emotion as few things can. It makes us happy and feeds the soul. Besides eating it (over 51 pounds per person per year), people delight in talking about it and making...
Choosing liability limits for motorcycle insurance
How do I choose liability for my motorcycle insurance? While most states have minimum liability requirements, this is not always the smartest choice. First determine what you would have to lose if you were to be sued for all you are worth....
CHRISTMAS CLANGERS
CHRISTMAS CLANGERS -- Collected, compiled and cranked out by "The Quipping Queen" for your amusement and delight -- As the ho ho ho season rolls around, one is reminded of some very wicked words from a few wise men, a smattering of witty women,...
Christmas Quiz
1. Which Christmas tree fact is NOT true? A. Artificial Christmas trees have outsold real ones every year since 1991. B. Nova Scotia leads the world in exporting Christmas trees. c. Franklin Pierce was the first president to decorate...
Clean Funny Jokes, Cool Humor, Endless Fun From EntRainbow.com
Huge archive of free jokes. You can find here cute jokes about marriage, love, hubby and wife, school and college, political, office humor and many more ! About the Author Huge archive of free jokes. You can find here cute jokes about...
Clothesline Fresh - Country Myth Breaker # 17
Clothesline fresh, country fresh scent, smells like a country garden, those of us from the city have all seen our share of country clad laundry soap commercials. The token red barn glows in the distance. Closer in, clothes adorn the line. ...
Come Out With Your Checkbook Open
Joey, daring the spotlights that were scanning the warehouse in which he was holed up, took a quick look out the window at the crowd below, and shouted, “Never, you dirty, rotten bill collectors!” Then he ducked back to the haven beneath the sill. ...
Compromised Positions
There is no denying that the sports business these days is awash in bright lights ... Quite often, though, the same can't be said for the people or practices involved. The passage of time, the fading of origins and the constant ...
Confessions of a Reality TV Junkie
It all started with MTV's Real World, which I joined midway through the first season over thirteen years ago. There was something embarrassingly intriguing about watching the story of seven strangers, picked to live in a house, and finding ...
Consultant 2004
Santana rocks. About the Author ...
Conversation In An Age Of Confusion
What do people talk about when they all believe different things and nobody is sure what the other person believes? Then you add to that the usual courtesy that most people don’t want to offend other people, especially when it comes to the topics...
Couch Potato Success Factors
There are five key character traits of superior couch potatoes. You really do need to become aware of these critical success factors if you are to master the underground couch potato world. 1. A total lack of interest in the outside world....
Country Lawn Maintenance - 10 Tips to Know Before You Mow
Practical survival skills should be fifty percent of what we study in school! Languishing twelve to sixteen years in the bowels of our education system should not leave American citizens unprepared to cope with perpetually running toilets. A burned...
Country Pastimes 2: Bale surfing
Since the demise of foxhunting and 'hunting with dogs' in the countryside, there are thousands of dispossessed toffs wandering around with nothing to do. To compensate we offer here the new shape of extreme and dangerous landsports. 2. Bale...
Country Pastimes 3: Impromptu farm concerts
Since the demise of foxhunting and hunting with dogs in the countryside, there are thousands of dispossessed toffs wandering around with nothing to do. To compensate we offer here the new shape of country activities. I was in the garden playing a...
Cow Bell Resort
Meat is murder - I understand that - but what if it weren't murder? Would it be alright to eat it, then? The reason I was thinking of this was that I almost hit a couple of wild turkeys while driving to work today and it occurred to me that if I had...
Cracked Up Glossary Of Common Gym Terms
If you’ve ever had occasion to visit a gym, you’ve no doubt heard people talking about "feeling the burn" and "pumping up." But did you ever wonder what people were really saying? Here are some common terms and phrases that will help you to learn...
Creating my First MRI
An MRI (or magnetic resonance imaging) scan is a radiology technique which uses magnetism, radio waves, and a computer to produce images of body structures. The MRI scanner is a tube surrounded by a giant circular magnet. The patient is placed on...
CROW IS ALSO A DISH SERVED BY CHILDREN
The traditional fowl of choice of ministers is usually thought to be chicken. This foul thought, however, is a terrible fallacy. Nobody would argue, at least for long, that we have sacrificed millions of chickens through the years at the altar of...
Cruise Takes A Bruise
Viacom gave Tom Cruise the bruise of his career – or, more exactly, its cantankerous chairman, Sumner Redstone, did, for behavior unbecoming an employee of the entertainment giant, saying Cruise’s shenanigans are “not acceptable to Paramount.” ...
Cuba Libre? Not Yet, Amigo! Castro Survives; Millions Mourn
When word finally passed the lips of the communist regime in Cuba that Fidel Castro might be on his way to where his enemigos would like to see him go, Cubans in and out of the island nation celebrated. Then word began to trickle...
Darwinism Gone Wild
I have been unable to verify the claim that this essay was written in a prestigious publication, but it is a witty use of twisted logic ... "Please make sure your read this carefully. It may change the way you think about your life and career. ...
Dear Guy
Coming soon. About the Author ...
Death Becomes Her
I had the funniest moment today. I called up a client only to hear the words, “Abby is no longer with us.” Pause. He then proceeded to say, “She hasn’t passed away, she’s just not with our company anymore. I didn’t want you to think she was dead.” I...
Death to Fleas
Summers here in Texas can be brutal! The intense heat, the humidity. Not a summer passes without hearing of at least one person collapsing from heat exhaustion. I am fortunate to possess what every Texan aspires to own: air conditioning. Now ...
Dental Insurance: Caring for your Teeth
Brush your teeth before bed. Floss every day. Avoid sugary foods. These words have been spoken by parents everywhere. Instilling good dental hygiene habits in your children is necessity, but once these children become adults, many of them begin to...
Depressed Rabbit Attempts Suicide
A male rabbit named Furball had lost all hope. The female rabbit he had lived with for an entire year had left him for another rabbit. The owner of the garden he usually dined at had just put a fence around it. A fox had...
Diary Complaints
My wife keeps a diary, and sometimes leaves it open with the last entry in view on the coffee table. I'm a person who wouldn't want to read another person's diary, even my wife's, diaries being personal. But out of a corner of my eye, on the diary...
Dice Sports Games That Are Fun; the Pro Football Game.
This is the next installment in a world of incredibly fun sports games played with dice. In the first installment I taught you how to play the college version of "Dice Football". That was the simplest of all my dice sports games. Now it is time...
Dick Cheney Enrolls At Dale Carnegie; Updates Curriculum
Vice President Cheney, upon his return from a visit to former Soviet Bloc nations, during which he criticized Russian President Putin in unusually direct, if correct, terms, found himself suffering from shortness of breath. Hesitant about consulting...
DING DONG IT'S DECEMBER!
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005 DING DONG IT'S DECEMBER! Or, time to get your buzzer fixed before friends arrive for some good cheer! Compiled by Lady Beatrice Blitterlees and edited by Lord Earl Craboon December is the...
Disclaimer:Diet Pepsi Does Not Make You Hip
Today there was a grand opening to the newest Wally World in the area so I figured what the hell and went to see what of course was yet another same old Wal-Mart. Of course since it was the first day there were people giving out free shit like ice...
Discovering Magnets and Their Many Uses
Magnets are very fascinating and interesting elements. They have been used for so many functions as well as for having fun. Toying around with magnets can provide entertainment for children and adults alike. Playing with their incredible ...
Do You Really Need Life Insurance?
Life insurance is one of those taboo subjects for normal, casual or friendly conversation. Whenever people, however, develop a life threatening illness, have a close encounter with another vehicle on the highway, or otherwise find themselves in a...
Do you suffer from too much GAS?
It is well documented that too much gas can be detrimental. Gas can cause severe stomach cramps. Certain gases can be harmful to the enviroment. Other gases can consume oxygen, and basically "smother" you. Particular diets can be related to gas....
DOG DITTY DAILY #1
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2006. DOG DITTY DAILY #1 A Motivational Moment for Misguided Masters & Mutts Compiled by Hugo Hotagen, DDD (Duke of Doorknobs & Doghouses), a loyal lapdog-in-training apprenticing with the affable,...
DOG DITTY DAILY #2
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2006. DOG DITTY DAILY #2 A Motivational Moment for Misguided Masters & Mutts Compiled by Hugo Hotagen, DDD (Duke of Doorknobs & Doghouses), a loyal lapdog-in-training apprenticing with the affable,...
DOG DITTY DAILY #3
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2006. DOG DITTY DAILY #3 A Motivational Moment for Misguided Masters & Mutts Compiled by Hugo Hotagen, DDD (Duke of Doorknobs & Doghouses), a loyal lapdog-in-training apprented to the affable, ...
DOG DITTY DAILY #4
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2006. DOG DITTY DAILY #4 A Motivational Moment for Misguided Masters & Mutts Compiled by Hugo Hotagen, DDD (Duke of Doorknobs & Doghouses), a loyal lapdog-in-training apprented to the affable, ...
DOG DITTY DAILY #5
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2006. DOG DITTY DAILY #5 A Motivational Moment for Misguided Masters & Mutts Compiled by Hugo Hotagen, DDD (Duke of Doorknobs & Doghouses), a loyal lapdog-in-training apprented to the affable, ...
DOG DITTY DAILY #6
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2006. DOG DITTY DAILY #6 Motivational Moment for Misguided Masters & Mutts Compiled by Hugo Hotagen, DDD (Duke of Doorknobs & Doghouses), a loyal lapdog-in-training apprented to the affable, agnostic...
DOG DITTY DAILY #7
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2006. DOG DITTY DAILY #7 Motivational Moment for Misguided Masters & Mutts Compiled by Hugo Hotagen, DDD (Duke of Doorknobs & Doghouses), a loyal lapdog-in-training apprented to the affable, agnostic...
DOG DITTY DAILY #8
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2006. DOG DITTY DAILY #8 Motivational Moment for Misguided Masters & Mutts Compiled by Hugo Hotagen, DDD (Duke of Doorknobs & Doghouses), a loyal lapdog-in-training apprenticed to the affable,...
DOG DITTY DAILY #9
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2006. DOG DITTY DAILY #9 Motivational Moment for Misguided Masters & Mutts Compiled by Hugo Hotagen, DDD (Duke of Doorknobs & Doghouses), a loyal lapdog-in-training apprenticed to the affable,...
Dog Poo
In Southern Germany in a town by the name of Bayreuth, the German police are in a quandary. The town’s dog poo is under attack. Park officials are desperate to resolve what could become an international incident. Unknown person or persons have been...
Dog Poo ( Turd Tales )
And you thought we had problems? In Southern Germany in a town by the name of Bayreuth, the German police are in a quandary. The town’s dog poo is under attack. Park officials are desperate to resolve what could become an international incident....
Don’t Blow Your Nose In The Water Fountain
We all know the general rules of the gym: don’t drop the weights, wipe your sweat off the machines when you’re done, etc. But do you know all about the more "colorful", lesser known rules of the gym? NOTE: These rules are JOKES! If you ever see any...
Don't Talk to Me About 'Life'
Some say life is like a box of chocolates, because 'you never know what you're going to get'. These people are idiots. Who the hell adopts a quote from a 'slow' movie character as their personal credo, anyway? Sure, I watched Forrest Gump ....
Don't You Know Who I Am?
One dilemma that the super famous face is balancing the needs of privacy and recognition. One time in New York an unnoticed Marilyn Monroe was walking down Madison Avenue accompanied by Eli Wallach. " My God, don't these people know who you are?"...
Double Peppermint Schnapps on the Rocks
Many years ago when I was young, attractive and a viable commodity on the dating market, I was employed as a bartender. Believe it or not, I actually went to "school" to learn this trade. I was living in Las Vegas at the time, and I decided to...
Down To Earth
1. When was the first Earth Day celebrated? A. March 21, 1970 B. April 22, 1970 C. May 21, 1970 D. June 22, 1970 A. March 21, 1970 QQ: First celebrated in the U.S. on this date, it has been celebrated each year thereafter at the United Nations,...
Draining the lizard in the old west franchises
The other day I had the good fortune to dine at an authentic tex-mex style restaurant: Montana's. For those Texans or Chi-chi's diehards reading this article, who are currently reverse tracking my IP address and loading your shotguns to head on...
Dumb Criminal Reports
SEE: www.copscoop.net About the Author Frank S Garcia has worked in the law-enforcement/security arena for over 15 years. He currently owns/operates DELTA PRIVATE SECURITY located in San Diego CA. and provides security consultation services in...
Dying For Fame And Fortune
SadHardly a week goes by where we do not see the face of a hitherto anonymous person achieving instant fame and misfortune by killing someone or committing some other certainly punishable act. We suspect a deep need on the part of many of these...
E mom dot com
E Mom dot Com A short story by Ravindra Torane This is a story of a boy named Anko. He liveed in Mumbai, a metro city in India. Anko was 12 year old . He never studied well, he was computer crazy. All the time he sticked to the ...
Easy Ways To Save Money & Abundance Revisited
A penny saved is a penny earned so they say. Today most people want to save all the pennies they can, in fact if you look after the pennies the "pounds" will look after themselves. Now I'm not saying you should be a cheapskate but if you go around...
Ebony and Greenery
Bell had followed him home. After a night of forty year old leaches in polyester groping her through thick clouds of stale cigar smoke at the Howard Johnson on route 60, she followed this tall stranger home. She was on business travelling for...
Ebony and Greenery Part Two
There stood before me was a little green leprechaun in a polyester suit. Cursing under his breathe he pulled out a large Havana Cigar and lit it. He proceeded to climb his keyboard stand to sit hunched between his knees with his fist in his chin ...
Education enlarges us.
Our education enlarges us. In days of old, when life was bold, And schools owned fields and land, We played serene, acted out our dreams, With nothing dangerous being banned, Now we roll in late, grossly overweight, If we even deign to show our...
ELEVEN THINGS TO DO ON A BORING DAY
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. ELEVEN THINGS TO DO ON A BORING DAY Or, how to put a little zip, zap and zuggers back into your life By: Theolonius McTavish, a recovering “to-do-list” and clock-watching sort-of-person with a freezer full of...
Emotional and Practical Efficiency.
"Life is about living with people, not counting the seconds". With a grin on your face and an open mind, consider the following efficiencies: Use one word where it is enough. Use two words where you wish to use twice as many. Find a friend who is...
EpicZone Archive:"I'm Heterosexual Where's My Parade?"
This article was dug up from the EpicZone's Archive.I have only recently started putting my articles on goarticles.com,but felt that this being the most popular article on my site,could not be excluded from submissions.So,below is the full article...
ET Phone Home
Last week I felt like the mother in the commercial, where her son shows her a good report card, and she starts to cry. My son is growing up. He pulled up his grades. I wish he could do the same for his pants, but one thing at a time. We...
Eternal Wit
Whoever said, "You can't take it with you" was obviously not referring to a sense of humor ... Here is a list of actual epitaphs from departed souls who clearly had more to say than the time to say it, or from their next of kin, who wanted...
Ettiquette
Etiquette Etiquette – such a pretty word. The very sound of it is classy – the kind of word you’d take home to meet Mother for a spot of tea and scones! Even its look, when written down is so “haute chic”. It must be good. There are many forms...
Europeans Press Iran; Present Cartoon Of Bombs Dropping On Nuclear Plants
European negotiators, intent on reaching a peaceful agreement with Iran about its controversial nuclear program, resorted to a tactic that has recently proven to be the most reliable way to elicit a response in much of the Muslim world. Remembering...
Even the Gods Laugh: How Humor Becomes Transformational
Most of our lives have become caught up in the dizzying stress, anxiety and self-created drama of the fast paced, twenty-first century. It was slower back in the 14th Century; I miss those days. Just the story of being a member of the human race...
Every Truck Lover’s Dream:
Truck song of truck songs, "Holocaust Harry’s Hotpipe". The tune ignores the gas crunch and wallows is the notion of big powerful monsters beyond whatever the non-custom rigs can do. "Well I used to drive those regular trucks before I built this...
Everybody Needs Someone...
"Everybody needs someone .... "Everybody needs someone to Love Thaam. Everybody needs someone to love them." Every morning as I left my back door onto the porch , there he was crooning. I thought he might scare the birds away but he...
EVERYONE HAS A DOUBLE SOMEWHERE
The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly have an agreement as ironclad as any legal document in the world court. Simply put, the contract is as follows: I will eat broccoli when she eats liver. I'm on pretty good ground here because I...
Everything I Need To Know I Learned From Drinking Coffee
After analyzing over 17,000 Dutch men and women, researchers recently concluded that those who drank seven or more cups of coffee a day were half as likely to develop type 2 diabetes than those who drank two cups or less. The study was led by Rob...
Evil Super-Villains need Love, Too
I just saw Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire last night. Really cool movie. By far the best of the lot. But, of course, the movie gets to the climax where Harry comes face to face with his nemesis Lord Voldemort in a scary graveyard and they...
Exclusive Interview With Santa Claus
Over the past two months I have been writing a Christmas story. It is about Santa Claus and the remarkable sequence of events that befell a young girl living on the edge of the rainforest in Palawan, a tropical island where I live. Of...
Exploring Comedy Groups
Are you looking for a comedy group that offers something for almost anyone then enjoy! 1. A funny, improvisational show that is played out as a sport is called ComedySportz. Entertain business associates, your family and even church groups at a...
Facing Defeat In War Of Words In Iraq, U. S. Launces Operation Thesaurus
The U. S., admitting is has been losing the war of words in Iraq, has launched a new offensive, dubbed Operation Thesaurus. It is aimed at rooting out the euphemistic resources of the enemy, wherever they may be lurking. Clearly stung by the...
Fall Into Action
1. What American city is recognized as the cradle of modern professional football? A. Canton, Ohio B. Chicago, Illinois C. Muncie, Indiana D. Rochester, New York A. Canton, Ohio QQ: Today, Canton is recognized as the cradle of modern professional...
Family Guy - Biography Of Peter Griffin.
Peter Griffin is one of the funniest, probably the most important characters in the cartoon animation series of 'Family Guy'. He is a Nice, Funny, Fat ass character, who is not afraid of spreading the word of his mind in to the world and change ...
